#self-improvement-book

"A Poem Should Be Motionless A poem should be motionlessin its eternal truthsand animated to inspire latent words into action."

"Origami Master If you're the greatest origami master in the worldmaybe I can find you a job folding napkins at a restaurant.I'm not making any promises."

"Let's get physical, physical [10w] All physical contact is meaningful,even if meaningful means sleazy."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Pale Oak Leaves Scatter Pale oak leaves scatteraround my father's grave."For this I pay $30/month maintenance?"

"Crying in the Rain If you cry in the raindoes anybody but you know you're unhappy?"

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"In the Future [1]: (criminals) In the future we're going to find a wayto turn criminals into wordsand then place them in parentheses."

"Russian, Metafizicheskiy-poshlost This is the humorous metaphysical banality like watching Tolstoy's wife, Sophia, nag her husband about leaving borscht stains on the table linen. The resulting discombobulation totally messed up the ending of Anna Karenina."

"Patience [10w] Patience is the most technologically advanced form of energy efficiency."

"Rice-a-Roni: The San Francisco treat... ...the other treat, of course, being anal penetration."

"The 3 Most Powerful Words in the English Language for Every College Student [3w] Ilovepizza"

"The Fate of Prodigies [10w] Early to peak, early to deal with obsolescence and obscurity."

"Old People [10w] At the mere mention of death they gasp for breath."

"Idiots vs. Fools [10w] Idiots listen to other's bullshit;fools listen to their own."

"Dressed to Kill [10w] At fashionable parties,vegetarians should not be dressed to kill."

"Iran [10w] In Teheran daylight dawnswith minarets against skies of bronze."

"Ethical Dilemma of an Ascending Body [10w] + [10w] You can't ascend a ladderwithout rungs to push back;you can't climb a staircasewithout stairs to step on."

"Shiva Haiku Sitting shiva.One more day of thisand I'll die of boredom."

"Paranoid Realist Perspective [10w] "I've conquered all my enemies except for the real ones."