#Suicide

"Hung [10w] Being caught with your pants down is a hanging offense."

"A Tad Old Fashioned [10w] "Save all your sighing and swooning for the 18th Century, bitch."

"As Dead As "Nothing's changed at my place of birth.It is as dead as I remember leaving it."

"Yams vs. Sweet Potatoes vs. Cassava vs. Popeye [10w] "I am that I am that I am a yam."

"What lies beneath the Semblance? What lies beneath the semblance.What lies beneath the semblance of lies.What lies beneath the semblance of lies!Lies lie beneath her semblance.Lies lie beneath her semblance.Lies, lies and more lies!"

"Crest Toothpaste: Look, Ma, no cavities!... ...that'll really piss off the TSA agents looking for contraband."

"2 Rules on Becoming a Good Poet [10w] Rule#1: Never write shitty poetry.Rule#2: Never forget Rule #1."

"Southern Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Sure nuff, I'm happier than a cat on a formerly hot tin roofwhich now usesNXT Cool Zone® heat reflecting roof coating ~but I'm still ornier than a mule on loco weedand a whole lot hornier than a two-dicked billy goat.You gots any coatin' for dat?"

"Writer's Prayers That Don't Work "Lord, lead me from the banality of everyday life,to the gleaming one beneath the surface."

"ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ [10w] II ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ accounts for 15.7% of all Hello Poetry's pageviews."

"What's in it for me?' A selfish person doesn't become compassionate as the result of some words of wisdom or epiphany. The selfish need selfish reasons to act unselfish."

"Objective Journalism Foreign journalists will always compromise objectivity to preserve relationships that give them better access."

"Who, Me? We marry nearly the same person over and over again,hoping next time they'll get it right."

"Keep Austin Weird Haiku Neck dragon tattoo, piercings, purple haired kindergarten teacher.Keep Austin weird."

"A Good Krill When there's a ocean to sieve through,there's no good or bad krill.There's only your mouth and hunger ~like Vladimir Putin."

"You Can't Win [10w] Every bitch is a witch;every wife brings you strife."

"If I Were God [10w] If I were God I'd sell my shit on Ebay."

"Biggest Problem with 10w [10w] The biggest problem with aphorisms is people believe they're true."

"Relationships Deconstrcted [10w] Qualities we at first perceive as endearingsoon becomes annoying."

"9/11 Haiku: Rudy Giuliani, Mayor of New York "Now you boxcutter, Iraqi Pete, camel fuckersreally pissed me off!"