#teachings

"Goose Neck [10w] Whenever a goose has a car accident, the traffic sucks."

"Enemies of My Enemies Who knew the enemies of my enemies were good dancers."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."

"Dsylıxǝa Hey, it isn't cool to make fun of people with Dsʎlıxǝaʎou dɯub pircʞ ¡!¡"

"Grateful [10w] + [10w] If you can't think of anything you should be grateful for,think that you can think and be grateful for that."

"Winning vs. Losing [10w] Too often the cost of winning is losing your soul."

"Genocide [10w] Genocide is the runaway bride once death becomes the bridegroom."

"Epiphanies [10w] Epiphanies aren't intuitions of new ideas;they're rearranging existing information."

"Eckhart Tolle for Sociopaths The foundation for all abundance is having more cool shit than your neighbor."

"Man vs. Chimp Even chimpanzees are toolmakers,but only man has the unique honor of being a Godmaker."

"Sex Kitchens of the Future [10w] Her entire kitchen was made of silicone ~ including her breasts."

"Love [10w] Love is a time machineset to your perfect present"

"Forget [10w] {Couplet} Let's lift our goblet of regret,forgive, forsake and forget."

"Gray [10w] Since gray's the 'new black' things aren't black and white."

"Switch Hitter [10w] Aphorisms are penned in my left brain,poetry, my right."

"Treat'em Like a Dishtowel (⌣́,⌣̀)⇝♥⇜(^◡^ ) [10w] "If I wring you out will you wring me back?"

"Thorny Love [10w] A thorn by any other name would hurt as much."

"I'm Not Skidaddling Down That Slippery Slope First you let sleeping dogs lie,next you allow all pets to prevaricate."

"Is Prayer Only for the Living? III [10w] Do angels pray to God to intercede on mankind's behalf?"