#teachings

"Doublemint Gum: Double your pleasure. Double your fun... ...we're talking ménage à trois, you son of a gun."

"Child on a Swing Haiku Child screeches like birdas swing reaches for heaven.Stars fill his pocket."

"New Age Hype Don't 'honor your feelings.'Half the time they're full of shit.Don't 'embrace' anything without a pulse.Mindfulness should include not listening to quacks."

"Valentine's Day 1 [10w] Valentine's Day affirms the promise that love can be sustained."

"How Much Space? {Couplet} Give a lover space enough to rejoice in their choice,but not enough room for their doubts to give voice."

"Time [10w] {Couplet} Can there be more callous crimethan unkindly killing time?"

"Love Undeniable [10w] A lover may deny anything to their lover but love."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"Reckless vs. Diet [10w] I live too recklessly to worry about low carb diets."

"How to Exercise Caution [10w] Walk in the counsel of the wickedon your treadmill."

"Income Tax [10w] A man's income tax return measures his integrity and stupidity."

"Fat Bungee Jumpers When I watch a fat woman bungee jumpI swear I can feel the earth leaving its orbit."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Let Others Speak [10w] When others speak of your virtues they grow tenfold."

"Old People [10w] At the mere mention of death they gasp for breath."

"Evil [10w] Believing you're evil sets into motion the wheels of self-destruction."

"New Year's Revolving Door [10w] + [10w] + {Couplet} 2015's revolution commences with the overthrow of New Year's resolution.Seek not absolutionfor our weak character's immune to evolution."

"Prevailing Wins [10w] Truth prevails in private, bullshit in public, integrity in spirit."

"Optimists vs. Death [10w] Optimists are hopeful people who see a coffin as half-full."

"When Old Age Begins Old age seizes center stagewhen more people we love are amidst the deadthan amongst the living."