#teachings

"New Age Hype Don't 'honor your feelings.'Half the time they're full of shit.Don't 'embrace' anything without a pulse.Mindfulness should include not listening to quacks."

"Humans vs. Monkeys [10w] + [10w] Baby monkeys are much more clever than a human babies.Human babies leap ahead because of their capacity for language."

"Babel [10w] Building a tower to reach God doesn't require any bricks."

"Hidden [10w] God hides enough happiness in sadness to light the world."

"Joussard, Alberta, Canada Haiku Love North Country Fair.Music, dance, artisan market ~a walk back in time."

"Dangerous Food [10w] The world's most fattening foods are the ones you swallow."

"Imaginary Friends When my childhood imaginary friend got mad at mehe insulted me by calling me 'real'."

"Overheard at Ashtanga Yoga Class *"I don't know my he left me. I even had a rabbit's food hanging from my dreamcatcher.""Maybe you should've used a little more suction and a few less amulets."

"Comedy vs. Satire [10w] Comedy pokes fun at society's self-inflation;satire deflates the balloon."

"Lenny Bruce I'm going to be rich!I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"Politicians [10w] All politicians serve two masters ~their ambition and their cocks."

"Time is Not a Constant [10w] Time speeds up, crawls, compresses and expands depending on mood."

"Object of Desire A woman knows she's the object of a unknown man's desirelike a game animal becoming aware it is being looked at."

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"Time Traveler's Ennui The future ain't what it use to be."

"The Road to Hell The road to hell is paved with 16 in. x 16 in. Red Brickface Concrete Step Stones.Only $2.97 each.Always in Stock atThe Home Depot."

"Clairol: Does she or doesn't she... ...take it up the ass."

"You're Totally Fucked' Defined [10w] What's before you is hopeless and behind you is negligible."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."