#teachings

"Relatively Speaking [10w] The irony about 'relativism theories' is that they're relative too."

"Flattery [10w] Flattery is the only passport that will get you everywhere"

"BFF, My Ass ~ It's a Jungle Out There! About one-third of all marriages are procured by sabotaging your best friend's happiness."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"A Voice from the Past A book is a voice from the past whispering into your ear.Sometime I get the urge to exhume the author's bodyand hit him in the head with a shovel."

"Six Minus Three Degrees of Stupidation [10w] Three degrees of stupid:stupidstupid squaredstupid stupid stupid"

"Scientology [10w] There's nothing more oppressive than the ignorance of foolish belief."

"Death Ride Denied At the stables of your agonyDeath brought his morbid mareTo whisk you from your woeful wantsAnd coax you from your cares.A ride you did deny this princeAnd bid him soft farewell,Hoping the morrow must be brighter sinceYour yesterdays were hell."

"My Brooklyn Childhood [10w] "Motherfucker! I gotta put more goddamn change in the swear-jar."

"Dressed to Kill [10w] At fashionable parties,vegetarians should not be dressed to kill."

"Dialogue Knowledge compromises its truthonce it ceases to be a dialogue."

"The Moon The moon's a pearl among the starry gems,more cultured than the rest of them.A blemished diadem of charcoaled nightthat chaperons the sun back to the light."

"Gained in Translation [10w] In timeless truths there's more gained than lost in translation."

"In the Porn Industry [10w] Lacking a college-diploma's more than compensated by a humongous penis."

"Gypsy When one gypsy spits on you, its disgusting;when two do, it's suspicious;when three do, you're late to a gypsy wedding."

"Spineless "How do you know which invertebrate lacks resolution if they're all spineless?"

"Finding Fault [10w] + {Couplet} We find in others faultWhenever our wounds perceives salt."

"Harlem P.O.V. Everything outside Harlem's the boondocks,where hayseeds opt out of Nikes for Reeboks."

"What lies beneath the Semblance? What lies beneath the semblance.What lies beneath the semblance of lies.What lies beneath the semblance of lies!Lies lie beneath her semblance.Lies lie beneath her semblance.Lies, lies and more lies!"

"Ranger Smith, Unemployement and the Possibility of Unperceived Existence If a tree falls in the forest and we're not there,do we fire the park ranger without making a sound?"