Beryl Dov

"Coffee Wisdom [2] For a real manthe only thing better than the scent of pussyis the smell of freshly ground coffee."

"Mind Maneuvers When we hear something unflattering,our mind doesn't fully process it.When we hear a compliment,the mind goes into overdriveand tend to read too much into it."

"Go with your Gut Our eyes, our mind plays tricks.Our love muscle, our heartchooses blindly and impulsively.But our gut,ahh, our gut,always makes the wise choice ~and goes straight for the burning hot pocketsfresh out of the microwavebecause our mouthsahh, our mouths,never needed a roof in the first place."

"Hustling [10w] Fishing's the world's oldest profession;only the bait has changed."

"Gypsy When one gypsy spits on you, its disgusting;when two do, it's suspicious;when three do, you're late to a gypsy wedding."

"Ranger Smith, Unemployement and the Possibility of Unperceived Existence If a tree falls in the forest and we're not there,do we fire the park ranger without making a sound?"

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"Do Me No Favors Haiku 'Do me no favors ~I can take care of myself.So, pay the check and drive me home."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."

"Creation "I shake my fist and there's bang.Stars sift like sand through my fingers;each swirl of my wrist a galaxy,every kiss imbued with a bit of me."

"No That's Bad Aim Shoot!That ass clown couldn't hit the broad side of a barnwith the smart photon torpedohe lifted from Area 51."

"Too Much Information You must empty your mind of garbage to let new garbage in."

"Stratospherical Poems [10w] Poets circle the earth in a higher orbit than readers."

"Missed Childhood [10w] + {Couplet} Adolescence spent upon a cross,regrettably is childhood's loss."

"How to Treat Your Lover {Couplet} If you want to learn how your lover best to treat,Pretend each time is the last time you'll ever meet."

"Speak to the Head [10w] + {Couplet} Tis of no fucking availTo speak to the tail."

"Hungry When you're hungry everything tastes good.Note to myself: Don't get married when you're hungry."

"Notoriety vs. Anonymity [10w] 'Tis better to live with notoriety,than die of anonymity."

"Long Term Relationships [10w] Long term relationships should begin and end with a laugh."

"Self-Help I asked the bookseller,'Do you have any self-help books for addiction?'He said,'If I tell you, I'd be enabling you."