Beryl Dov

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Library [10w] Hopefully, the library in the afterlife doesn't contain contemporary poetry."

"One Size Fits All Life Strategy Smile first.Ask questions later."

"Maintaining the Distance between Wealth and Poverty [10w] The nouveau riche are far more ruthlessthan the rich."

"New Age Hype Don't 'honor your feelings.'Half the time they're full of shit.Don't 'embrace' anything without a pulse.Mindfulness should include not listening to quacks."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Talking to Myself I used to talk to myself until myself criticized myself.Now I'm giving myself the silent treatment."

"1953 It seems the world has gone downhill since the year Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Everest."

"Sink or Swim [10w] Lovers master the breaststroke, the crawl and the muff dive."

"Good vs. Great [10w] To be good twice is a true mark of greatness."

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. [10w] + {Couplet} Network TV's insistent stupidity to the Outer Limits pushes me."

"Preachiness vs. Prose vs. Poetry A poem that says what it means is prose;if it means what it says it's a sermon.Leave the homiletics for the priestsprose for the journalistsand soulful resonancefor the poets."

"Vices [10w] Cultivate vices;to be without them is not to be."

"A Loaf of Challah Haiku A loaf of challah,a bottle of Rashi wine...For everything else there's Simply Manischewitz."

"Thorn [5w] Every thorn has its rose."

"Ruth Whither thou goest, I will go ~as long as it's to the mall.I heard Dillard's is having an 80% off sale!"

"Jesus [10w] "Sorry to keep you hanging,but it's just our nature."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Out to Lunch [10w] Behind closed doors, there's nothing we rightfully can call crazy."

"California [10w] No two snowflakes are alike,unless they're California yoga practitioners."