Beryl Dov

"One Size Fits All Life Strategy Smile first.Ask questions later."

"Herpes [10w] Only greatness and genital herpes are conspicuous by their absence."

"Embalming [10w] Injecting baking soda whitens, freshens, and softens the dearly departed."

"Self-Motivation [10w] "Today I'll do something more extraordinarythan I did yesterday."

"First Day at Harvard [10w] Smartest kid in the roomwalks into room of competitors."

"Dull Poetry Dulls the Mind [10w] Poetry penetrates dullness when whetted on the stone of imagination."

"Embittered [10w] "His heart blistered like paint peeling from an old rig."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Deadly Sex Haiku Each thrust of his cockwas another coffin nailhammered in my heart."

"Rat Trap Haiku 'Hmm, 12 by 13,4 by 9. Oy! You call thisrat trap an apartment?"

"Fucking 3rd World Taxi Drivers [10w] Taxi drivers have ruined more vacations than tsunamis or earthquakes."

"The 'Ugly' Poet [10w] Poets develop cleverness with wordsto compensate for their unattractiveness."

"Omnipresence Under The Christmas Tree "I wish I was a schizophrenic with déjà vu so I could've been everywhere simultaneously."

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."

"Gifts Never look a gift horse in the assor a donkey in the mouth."

"Proof Proof of God's existence is as silly as proof of love's."

"Irish-Gaelic Wife-Fooking Proverb The truth can't be concealedI fooked your Caitlin from behind,because you can never plow a field by just turning it over in your mind.By the way, Caitlin's last words, before sucking me cock, were"Me husband's balls smells like ballyblue cheese, ahhhhhh, Éirinn go Brách!"

"Enemies of My Enemies Who knew the enemies of my enemies were good dancers."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."

"Madness [10w] Madness isn't an objective state,it is a cultural bias."