Beryl Dov

"What's in it for me?' A selfish person doesn't become compassionate as the result of some words of wisdom or epiphany. The selfish need selfish reasons to act unselfish."

"Hi-Yo Silver! Away! [10w] "Kimosabe, me wanna fuckum Pamela, pronto.My teepee's blue."Tonto"

"Leaps of Faith [10w] Like religion, leaps of faith are behind all idealistic movements."

"Patience [10w] Patience is the most technologically advanced form of energy efficiency."

"Did He Do the Right Thing? I walked out of the room. I did not stay to watch my beloved draw her last breath because I didn't want all my magical memories of her tainted by the profanity of death."

"Paranoid Realist Perspective [10w] "I've conquered all my enemies except for the real ones."

"Perdue: It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken... ...it's all about steroids and crowd management."

"Herpes [10w] Only greatness and genital herpes are conspicuous by their absence."

"Psychotherapy [10w] If you can second guess a psychotherapist,they’re totally useless."

"Schmuck [10w] + {Couplet} Show kindness to a schmuck,it's guaranteed you'll get fucked."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."

"Is Prayer Only for Man? I [10w] Does God pray for His creation's in Heaven and Earth?"

"Love [10w] Love is a time machineset to your perfect present"

"Lady Clowns [10w] Lady clowns drip menstrual blood in seven luscious rainbow colors."

"Retail [10w] The first and last sale of the day are best."

"No That's Bad Aim Shoot!That ass clown couldn't hit the broad side of a barnwith the smart photon torpedohe lifted from Area 51."

"Credo of a Substitute Teacher I'm a 'sugar free' substitute teacher.I speak frankly and never gave any of my studentsa single word of encouragement.Why should I? Even after 10 years the school hasn't given me a pension, health insurance or paid sick leave.So fuck 'em.Fuck 'em all."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"Sink or Swim [10w] Lovers master the breaststroke, the crawl and the muff dive."

"Dammit Goddammit' Defined [10w] Damned if you do and damned if you don't double-bind."