Beryl Dov

"Toasts During the hymeneal repast,The guest stood silent as toasts were cast.The Best Man bore witness to a dozen years pastThe Bridesmaid joked about a relationship that wouldn’t lastThe groom listened and held the hand of the brideKnowing his real toast was buttered on the other side."

"Proof Proof of God's existence is as silly as proof of love's."

"I [10w] 'I' is a wellspring in the desertoverflowing with life."

"Straight Men vs. Curved Women [10w] 'Straight' men who approach 'curved' women must'mind the gap'."

"Imaginary Friends [10w] My imaginary friend insulted me by calling me real."

"Lady Clowns [10w] Lady clowns drip menstrual blood in seven luscious rainbow colors."

"Deaf [10w] No man suffers deafness if he listens with his eyes."

"♀ Travelers vs. ♀ Tourists [10w] + [10w] Female travelers wear no makeup, stringy jewelry and Jesus sandals.Female travelers wear overcaked makeup, diamond jewelry and Gucci Booties."

"Rewrite☷Rewrite [10w] Happiness writes new memories;New losses rewrite over old ones."

"Rain Check I'm a shitty typist and speller, I hunt and peck,I wrote, "i LeFt mY sWeEtToOtH iN yOuR nEcKoF tHe WoOdS, cOuLd YoU pLeAsE bRiNgIt BeCk."Surprisingly, you did,and left."rAiN cHeCk."

"Nature's Prayer [10w] + {Couplet} Trees gesticulate in morning prayer;wind circulates with cleansing air."

"Fugly Fishmates For every woman that looks like a hatchet-faced haddockthere's an equally ugly flounder-faced man with even fewer prospects."

"The Poet's Disease My body atrophies.My mind swells.Imagination's become my crutch."

"Pulling a Houdini Relationships are magic;we're always getting each other out of handcuffs and strait-jacketswhile locked in a steamer trunk underwater."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"Fabulous Creatures and Trust Issues [10w] Never trust a sheep in wolf’s clothing despite the unicorn."

"Maine State Motto Dirigo. [10]You won't find no niggers here, eh."

"Finish Off Your Enemies If you finish off your enemiesdo they wind up more charming and with better manners?"

"Pushkin When Pushkin came to Shovekin all hell broke loose."