Beryl Dov

"Oxford, England Haiku City shrouded in fogand within the blinding mist we found each other."

"What Women Think Women don't care if you got a six pack if you slurp you soup."

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"Knowledge vs. Wisdom [10w] + [10w] Knowledge is the understanding that you are what you eat. Wisdom is not eating a pussy with hair on it."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Credo of a Substitute Teacher I'm a 'sugar free' substitute teacher.I speak frankly and never gave any of my studentsa single word of encouragement.Why should I? Even after 10 years the school hasn't given me a pension, health insurance or paid sick leave.So fuck 'em.Fuck 'em all."

"Man vs. Chimp Even chimpanzees are toolmakers,but only man has the unique honor of being a Godmaker."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"Ode to a Wastepaper Basket I love the way you sit in the corner,gracious like a lover,catching my every crumpled vanity."

"Sharia Justice [10w] Sharia justice is a lynch mob masquerading as Allah's will."

"Comfort Zone Your comfort zone has a clock on it, ticking off until it becomes your death zone."

"Trickeries, Sophistries and Traps [10w] Life's great irony is that we, the trapped,set traps."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"3 Surefire Ways to Win a Man You sucking my cock made our relationship interesting.You taking it up your ass made it meaningful.You cooking me dinner made it lasting."

"Finish Off Your Enemies If you finish off your enemiesdo they wind up more charming and with better manners?"

"Garden [10w] A garden is a poem written with flowers on earth."

"Fodder for Poets [10w] Childhood memories are the most seminal sustenance for creating poetry."

"Upgrading [10w] Promise them the worldto get the universe in return."

"Consciousness-Driven Evolution circa 60,000 B.C. Random genetic mutation allowed homo sapiens to compete more successfully for food and mating rights. Just listen to girl chatter posted on the cave walls:"Boy, Uggh is hot. He's sentient!""Yeah. He doesn't need a club to get my attention."

"Do Me No Favors Haiku 'Do me no favors ~I can take care of myself.So, pay the check and drive me home."