As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She wants to teach me to dance, but how do you instruct water to flow? I'm so fluid all you can do is swim in my moves and drink my essence."

"My I love you was a measured response, like one gallon of coffee in one cup of sugar. It was just overflowing with an awakening of my soul."

"The Federal Government pushing drugs and then punishing marijuana growers is like the pot calling the kettle green."

"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."

"She said love her or be tortured by her. I replied, "Torture would be less painful."She didn't realize that I'm a true romantic."