"I just sprayed cologne on my hand and then pet the back of my cat's head while he slept, and he woke up so confused, trying to sniff behind his neck and all around wondering what sweet attack he was under."
"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."
"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."
"Dogs have four legs, just like chairs. I would take mine for a walk, but I’m sitting on it."
"Grandpa often tells me I dance like my legs are engulfed in flames. I just go out there and put the fire of desire in women’s hearts."
"My love has a flow like a flower, so it’s best if you water it with the fragrance of romance, which has the aroma of loyalty."