I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The heart pumps blood, a fluid, but it also pulses love, which is as liquid as a wave, and everyone wants a refill. My goal is to be a server."

"Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former."

"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."

"A white wedding dress, once worn, is like the ghost of a moment, trapping feelings of forever into fabric that’s never to be tried on again."

"I would argue that unless the two people are in love, all sex is bad sex, because why eat cotton candy when you can have edible clouds? Sure, it seems sweet at the time, but that’s just a carnival and carnal rush and wears off quickly. But love adds an extra dimension that takes an earthy thing like sex and makes it absolutely heavenly."