I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. A... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. And I didn’t even try! I simply waited. I’ll bet I could even do it in my sleep."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK."
"The fastest way to lose weight is to find religion and start fasting."
"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."
"If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now."
"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."