"I’m making naked, and I’m making it by hand and other body parts. Next I’ll be making spaghetti, if my first cooking show hasn’t been canceled by then."
"When you’re embarrassed, you turn red. When I blush, I turn plaid. I network at kilt conventions, so even if I say something awkward I still look cool."
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"The Book of Life, I’m still writing it—both literally and literarily. So far I’ve written the Table of Contents. Right now it’s more of a coffee table."
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."