#nude

"She asked me how I slept. Knowing she meant quality of sleep, I said I slept naked. It’s true. Ask any of the joggers who saw me sleepwalking."

"77 degrees in the fall feels cold, and 77 degrees in the spring feels hot. That’s why I’m selling year-round-nudity for half-price."

"If I had no clothes it’d be winter. If I were naked, it’d be the truth and we could lie together."

"My advice is to write in the nude. Unless you do your writing in a public restroom, and in that case, I’d recommend wearing flip flops."

"My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through the streets."

"I wear gloves, because I don’t want to tease people with my naked body. I’ve got to leave something to the imagination."

"A veiled Mind is more enticing than all the nude men lining up the Seine, during Summer."

"I’m making naked, and I’m making it by hand and other body parts. Next I’ll be making spaghetti, if my first cooking show hasn’t been canceled by then."

"I make naked, and I make it by hand. I also make it using the rest of my body. Coming soon to a Walmart near you."

"Pepperonis are like edible polkadots. I made you a pizza dress, but I’m ashamed to admit I burned it. I’m afraid you’ll have to dance naked."