"Love is a boomerang dripped in honey, in that it emanates from me just as surely as it will return to me. Still, I think I’d much rather wash my hands and be done with it."
"A little part of me dies every time I try to commit suicide. If life is a buffet, I’m still in the mac and cheese phase. Maybe one day I’ll mature into more of a meatloaf kind of guy."
"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"
"My cup is full of air. I should empty it and fill it with love. Or coffee, as the two are synonymous to me."
"I’ll wear a maze on a necklace, dangling over my chest, because if you want to get at my heart, you have to be ready to lose yourself."
"Wherever there’s a gathering of people, there is networking going on. My favorite place to network is the cemetery."