#Clean

"I let coffee drip into my mouth the same way I fall in love—slowly, as I wring out my shirt before going to scrub off the 32-ounce spill. I’m as romantic as a free-refill station that’s out of sugar, cream, and stirring sticks."

"Meatloaf is graphable in how far ahead it is in likeability categories. You can also play Mop the Floor with it. I make love like I make dinner that makes cleaning the kitchen more fun for the whole family."

"Love is a boomerang dripped in honey, in that it emanates from me just as surely as it will return to me. Still, I think I’d much rather wash my hands and be done with it."

"Humor that is edgy is never squeaky clean."

"No dirt can touch me, like an ocean, everything that comes to me becomes clean."

"I sell soap. Buy two bars and get a FREE shower. (Water not included.) Act within the next 15 minutes and I’ll even throw in the towel. I quit!"

"If you convert a shower curtain to a dress, I’ll wear my waterproof dancing shoes. Together we’ll move so fluidly people will line up to get cleansed."

"Would you mind if I used your kitchen sink to take a bath? I have the hygiene of a midget."

"New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up."

"Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?"Isabelle shrugged philosophically. "I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt."

"My skull needs a tornado inside, to clean out my thoughts. I’ll call Kansas tomorrow to see if I can rent one for the day."

"For many of us, clean water is so plentiful and readily available that we rarely, if ever, pause to consider what life would be like without it."