"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"
"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself."
"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."