"When it’s raining, instead of using an umbrella, try holding an empty drinking glass above your head. That’s exactly how I thirst for your love."
"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."
"I have two hands, so when I’m networking and I meet two new people, is it OK to shake both their hands at once? Or would it be more appropriate to organize a group hug?"
"If you’re going to hang around and watch me write, you might as well have a noose around your neck. Would you mind if I kicked the chair out from under your feet? You’re standing on my only place to sit."
"On a scale of 1 to extroverted, I’m a 3.14159. So is pi. I network like “the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.” Thanks, Wikipedia!"