More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."
— Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Read More
"Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are you late?"
— Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Read More
"You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself."
— Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Read More
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
— Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Read More
"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"
— Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Read More