Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but b... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are you late?"

"You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself."

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"