#Master

"God Made God made our beingour parents our bodyphilosophy our mindchildren our compassionhostory our loyaltywork our self-esteembattles our heroismpoetry our soulsoulmates our lovewhich stitches it all togetherinto a life."

"Dressed to Kill [10w] At fashionable parties,vegetarians should not be dressed to kill."

"What's Hot [10w] + {Couplet} We incorrectly assume what's hotis becoming what we're not."

"Two Dust Storms or A Nice Pair of Haboobs A palm tree passes through a sandstorm, shakingoff the dusty rain like a wet dogon the less fortunate wayfarersburied in the sand."

"Sometimes God is Drunk [10w] Satan's sudden appearance means God is on a drinking binge."

"How Hard? [10w] Fuck’em hard enough to make their breasts move like Jell-O."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Iowa Haiku "We're not really dull,we are just misunderstood.Weed helps dull the pain."

"Whose Asphalt Is It? [10w] The road to mediocrity is paved with asphalt and tarmac."

"Campbell's Soup: M'm! M'm! Good!... ...even though our products have more sodium than the Dead Sea."

"Heart My heart jumps every time you walk through the door.It's not love.I have an arrhythmia."

"Who, Me? We marry nearly the same person over and over again,hoping next time they'll get it right."

"Thank You, Adobe [10w] Thanks to Photoshop,a picture isn't worth a single word."

"Rooftop Poetry Sing poetry from rooftopslike a muzzein' s call for prayer."

"Gold Diggers are Always at Two Weddings A gold digger's eyes are searching for her next husband at her wedding."

"Invisible Attraction What's invisible to the eye is that as you move towards love,love moves towards you."

"Why We Need Smart People [10w] We need smart people to call other smart people morons."

"A Chuck Yeager Moment {Couplet} There's a sonic boom resonating in my head as I break through the 2000 HP follower watershed."

"Consciousness-Driven Evolution circa 60,000 B.C. Random genetic mutation allowed homo sapiens to compete more successfully for food and mating rights. Just listen to girl chatter posted on the cave walls:"Boy, Uggh is hot. He's sentient!""Yeah. He doesn't need a club to get my attention."

"Noah [10w] God, I love rain too ~but this is fucking ridiculous!"