#personal-development

"Go with your Gut Our eyes, our mind plays tricks.Our love muscle, our heartchooses blindly and impulsively.But our gut,ahh, our gut,always makes the wise choice ~and goes straight for the burning hot pocketsfresh out of the microwavebecause our mouthsahh, our mouths,never needed a roof in the first place."

"The Wonder of Wandering [10w] When you wander without destination,the world becomes your teacher."

"One Size Fits All Life Strategy Smile first.Ask questions later."

"Inspiration vs. Plagiarism [10w] Inspiration is improving on another's idea;plagiarism is copy/paste piracy."

"Wisconsin State Motto Forward.Leading the nation in drunk driving and Cheesehead hats."

"Animal Species Identity [10w] Funny how animals know their own species without a mirror."

"Memory Timeline of Divorce Divorce +1 year: "Just because we don't talk, it doesn't mean I can't stop thinking about you."Divorce +10 years: "The one good thing that came out of our marriage was our wonderful children."Divorce +20 year: "Who? Doesn't ring a bell."

"Self-Contempt [10w] Self-contempt is calling yourself collect and refusing to accept the charges."

"Natural Born Poets vs. Made Poets A natural born poet sees the future of poetry.A made poet clumsily imitates his vision."

"Iowa Haiku "We're not really dull,we are just misunderstood.Weed helps dull the pain."

"Hidden [10w] God hides enough happiness in sadness to light the world."

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Infinite Promise The carrot of infinite promise always dangles just inches beyond our noses.The trick is to surreptitiously switch that carrot for a zucchini."

"Fear is the Best Test Will the fear of going blind make youa voracious reader, a world traveleror paralyze you with a thousand other fears?"

"Voodoo I'm phobic about pins and needles.Can I just stick a voodoo doll in the microwave?"

"Concatenate /kənˈkætəneɪt/to link together, as in a chain Do you concatenate cats by tying their tails together or do you just stuff the tail of one into the mouth of the other?Which method is better for yanking your chain?"

"Your comfort zone is a place where you keep yourself in a self-illusion and nothing can grow there but your potentiality can grow only when you can think and grow out of that zone."

"Catalyst [10w] You're not lying if your lie helps engender the truth."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"