#Politics

"A slinky is a toy made for stairs, but that’s entirely too tiresome. What about a toy for escalators that doesn’t move and does nothing and that’s the whole point? I think Americans would relate to and embrace that mentality."

"A nugget of wisdom is more valuable than a nugget of gold—and considerably harder to pan out of a river. I’ll be 33 in March, and all I’ve found so far is fool’s gold. Still, I was able to trade it for political favors."

"Everything is relative in this world, where change alone endures."

"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."

"When the time is ripe for certain things, these things appear in different places in the manner of violets coming to light in early spring."

"We must remember that the test of our religious principles lies not just in what we say, not only in our prayers, not even in living blameless lives - but in what we do for others"

"I wanted that future officer to weigh decisions with a supple mind and to be comfortable with nuance and uncertainty."

"Freedom in capitalist society always remains about the same as it was in ancient Greek republics: Freedom for slave owners."

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"The Revolution introduced me to art, and in turn, art introduced me to the Revolution!"

"Our only real hope for democracy is that we get the money out of politics entirely and establish a system of publicly funded elections."

"The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way."

"In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office."

"I had a dream about you. You were storing my brain in a pickle jar in the fridge, and I only discovered it when I went to garnish my hamburger. Mindless and hungry, I was a US politician’s ideal voter."

"Under the United States Constitution, the federal government has no authority to hold states "accountable"for their education performance...In the free society envisioned by the founders, schools are held accountable to parents, not federal bureaucrats."

"I have never voted in my life... I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it's certain they will win."

"It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."

"Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart."

"I think it's hard to learn democracy when we make children prisoners until they're nineteen years old."

"King Louis Philippe once said to me that he attributed the great success of the British nation in political life to their talking politics after dinner."