#positive-thinking

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Sometimes it's Love and Sometimes the... [10w] ...tingling sensation of excitement, happiness, and nervousnessis jock itch."

"Breathe inhale.exhalerepeatThat should solve 90% of your problems.For the other 10% ask your local Rabbi."

"Sharia Justice [10w] Sharia justice is a lynch mob masquerading as Allah's will."

"What happens when you trip China's Premier Li Keqiang on a banana peel? Your wind up with an even more slippery slope."

"Die Alone It is man's tragic fate to die alone,therefore, we must carefully choose who we die alone with."

"God May Grant Your Wishes Daily [10w] Pray for sunshine at night and moonbeams when you wake."

"Oy Vey Haiku (g)Nat's sphincter clenched.The skinhead asked, 'You a Jew?Minyan's one man short."

"In matters of the heart as well, a certain level of negativity and suspicion is universally recommended. You may try to project a thoroughly positive outlook in order to attract a potential boyfriend, but you are also advised to Google him."

"Its a mathematical fact that two negatives make a positive so even under adverse circumstances think positively."

"Children and Food [10w] Once children order like grown-upsfood's lost its sweet innocence."

"Great things happen to those who don't stop believing, trying, learning, and being grateful."

"Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face."

"As Long As It Has a Fast Internet Connection {Couplet} I need a cozy den to winter in,a hiberaculum away from the city's din."

"Single |sin•gle| (adjective) - Too fabulous to settle."

"Six-Pack [10w] A six-pack of beer's inversely proportional to six-pack of abs."

"Heartbreak [10w] Heartbreak’s like a heart attack but without the hospital bills."

"Notoriety vs. Anonymity [10w] 'Tis better to live with notoriety,than die of anonymity."

"Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: It's the cheesiest... ...advertising slogan ever!"

"To change the world takes time; to change yourself takes courage."