#relationships

"Someday I will have revenge. I know in advance to keep this to myself, and everyone will be happier. I do understand that I am expected to forgive N and his girlfriend in a timely fashion, and move on to a life of vegetarian cooking and difficult yoga positions and self-realization, and make this so much easier and more pleasant for all concerned."

"And since I’m marrying into the Quartet, I have certain privileges and duties. If you’re sleeping with Laurel—”“I’m not sleeping with Laurel. We’re dating.”“Right, and the two of you are just going to hold hands, admire the moon, and sing camp songs.”“For a while. Minus the singing."

"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity."

"What is God? [17] [10w] God has a fondness for cosmology and carbon-based life forms."

"Consciousness-Driven Evolution circa 60,000 B.C. Random genetic mutation allowed homo sapiens to compete more successfully for food and mating rights. Just listen to girl chatter posted on the cave walls:"Boy, Uggh is hot. He's sentient!""Yeah. He doesn't need a club to get my attention."

"Deep down under where his heart resided, strangled up in thorny vines of guilt, anger, fear and longing, there lay something deeper in him, something that he couldn’t see but she could."

"It's unexpectedly painful to have become a pronoun."

"Let's get physical, physical [10w] All physical contact is meaningful,even if meaningful means sleazy."

"It's as if every conversation with a woman was a test, and men always failed it, because they always lacked the key to the code and so they never quite understood what the conversation was really about."

"I can’t use my intellect to figure out how to bypass my intellect. Love lies through the spirit, not the mind, and love never lies."

"Water can be as hard as ice and as soft as fog, which is why my love is so drinkable, because it is fluid and forgiving. It's easy to love until there's nothing left. Eventually, the water runs out, the ice melts, and the fog fades into an abyss.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan"

"Listen to the Wisdom of Shakespeare 'To thine own self be true and fuck'em till they're back and blue."

"Rainbows and Gratuitous Violence Whenever I see a rainbow, I want to punch a penguin in the face."

"The pink sunset reminds me of her, and the calm water matches the calm that images of her bring to my heart."

"Who is Fortunate? [10w] Who is fortunate?He who measures his fortune in friends."

"Figure, Woman, Wife I study the sleeping figure,Stare at her sated curl of lip;Her lids sealed in dreams so pureMy love's secured from tip to tip.I study the sleeping womanHer forehead faint with sweatHer eyes wildly remmingOf adulterous sex, I bet.I study the sleeping wife,Her mouth faintly drawing breath;Her throat pouring pools of blood ~How I loved this woman to death."

"Love is giving up control. It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two—love and controlling power over the other person—are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all the desires within us to manipulate the relationship."

"The best defense is a confusing offense."

"Fugly Fishmates For every woman that looks like a hatchet-faced haddockthere's an equally ugly flounder-faced man with even fewer prospects."

"Take me now, God!"I shout to the inky sky. "I´m ready.""You´re not ready. You´re not even divorced yet,"Bunny says. "You cannot die married to that man."