#relationships

"If I were hairy, would you vacuum my chest before we made love? I’d probably have enough chip crumbs in it to feed the homeless, because I’m a charitable kind of guy."

"People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are ... I just don't want that responsibility."

"Better to put your heart on the line, risk everything, and walk away with nothing than play it safe. Love is a lot of things, but “safe” isn’t one of them."

"Democracy, Really [10w] A democracy is free to replace one tyranny with another."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"I got my heart's desire, and there my troubles began."

"The roses of romance grow when you water your relationship with gratitude. Love will bloom and blossom when you recognize the awesome."

"you=""are=""what=""eat"=""[10w]=""That's why I've become a pizza with a pussy topping."

"I have to go. I have a finite amount of life left and I don't want to spend it arguing with you."

"I didn’t give her my full attention. The bottle was half full when she started drinking. Still, from it she grew distracted, so my farming technique worked."

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"Unruffled [10w] Nothing’s calmer than an unruffled duck eating a cool cucumber."

"This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?""I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?""Yes,"she said."That's influenza,"said Miro. "Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours."

"I'm Not Talking About Fruitcake [10w] The greatest gifts are the ones that can be regifted."

"Beyond the Place of Turning Back ↺ "Sometimes I wish to fly so far sou⇟hit's stars beyond the place of turning back↺"

"Rationalize [10w] Man needs an apt aphorism to rationalize his ruthless actions."

"People are islands,' she said. 'They don't really touch. However close they are, they're really quite separate. Even if they've been married for fifty years."

"Wrong Number [10w] There is no such thing as dialing a wrong number."

"Persistence If persistence is the foundation of all success, how come persistent liars and nags aren't more successful?"

"Why is it,"he said, one time, at the subway entrance, "I feel I've known you so many years?""Because I like you,"she said, "and I don't want anything from you."