#relationships

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."

"One reads for oneself and for strangers."

"I spoke like a spoke on a wheel, as I went around and around without actually saying what I wanted to say. I was love flustered."

"Just remember that the only question in a house is who is to rule. The rest is only dancing around that, trying not to look it in the eye."

"Long Term Relationships [10w] Long term relationships should begin and end with a laugh."

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't being said. The art of reading between the lines is a life long quest of the wise."

"Thank You Dick Wolf [10w] TV crime shows taught me it’s best to lawyer up."

"After soul searching, I found myself. Then I found myself giving of myself to a charity that finds missing children. It's great to be found."

"A Moment Before Impact [10w] The deer's eyes were moonstones, reflecting back my car's headlights."

"Learning from Experience Learning from experience means, 'Boy, did I just fuck up!"

"Epiphanies [10w] Epiphanies aren't intuitions of new ideas;they're rearranging existing information."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."

"Old People [10w] At the mere mention of death they gasp for breath."

"Virtual Reality [10w] Bliss is a virtual-reality headset coupled with a virtual-reality hooker software."

"If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right."

"I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you."

"To gaze into another persons face is to do two things: to recognise their humanity and to assert your own."

"Politicians [10w] All politicians serve two masters ~their ambition and their cocks."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Transubstantiation [10w] Transubstantiate digression into confessionand drink from poetry's Holy Grail."