#sacred-teachings

"Err 2 [10w] To err is human, to make it a habit, assinine."

"Love Scars Love leaves more scars than a ten car pile-up ~and nobody's got insurance."

"The Wonderful Wonder Between the 'Onenesses' [10w] + [10w] + [10w] + [10w] If you can imagine time running backwards, death becomes birth;The moment before conception, becomes our oneness with the universe.Therefore, we shouldn't fear death because oneness returns to oneness;The wonder that happens between these onenesses is God's gift."

"Perfect Sex [10w] Perfects sex balances the conflicting pleasures of submission and mastery."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"Lenny Bruce I'm going to be rich!I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede."

"Poetry vs. Prose [10w] Prose is the bread of imagination;poetry is the wine."

"National Rifle Association Credo [10w] God gave us two hands to holdan assault rifle."

"Amputees Smart phones and the internet are the prosthetics our century cannot live without.Until we can put them down to take a quiet walk in the woods,we are all amputees."

"Where the Fuck is Waldo Even whens I finds Waldothat crackhead nigga won't cough up the five dollars he owes me."

"Straight Men vs. Curved Women [10w] 'Straight' men who approach 'curved' women must'mind the gap'."

"Old People [10w] At the mere mention of death they gasp for breath."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."

"FBI vs. CIA When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,he gets a watch.When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,he gets watched.I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~I know this because I have HBO."

"In the Porn Industry [10w] Lacking a college-diploma's more than compensated by a humongous penis."

"Before It's Too Late [10w] Life's too transient to waste time hating ~plot revenge now!"

"Wisconsin State Motto Forward.Leading the nation in drunk driving and Cheesehead hats."

"Prickly Pears [10w] Men are often like cactus fruits ~thorny outside,mushy inside."

"New Age Hype Don't 'honor your feelings.'Half the time they're full of shit.Don't 'embrace' anything without a pulse.Mindfulness should include not listening to quacks."

"UPS [10w] Women at work judge the UPS man by his package."