#sage-advice

"Integrity [10w] There’s no indignity men of integrity aren’t willing to endure."

"The Albanian Art of Subtle Seduction [10w] "You have an amazing mind now show me your tits."

"Let's Celebrate! Photoshop Turns 25 This Week [10w] I bought a fake passport on Fiverr.Don't tell Mexico."

"Advice for Women at Starbucks If a vanilla latte and banana nut muffin doesn't solve the problem,perhaps you're going at it wrong."

"Put it All on Black' [10w] God doesn't play dice with the universe;He prefers roulette."

"What Makes a Terrorist Tic {Couplet} "If you want to glimpse how dark I really am,Place me beside the brilliant words of our Holy Qur'an."

"Chlorophylia [10w] + {Couplet} Few things amaze as the paletteof the autumn blaze."

"Please Don't Commemorate Me Just Yet [10w] The living are only commemorated when they're at death's door."

"To Trend or Not to Trend I've had a thousand trending poems,they were rarely my best.Evoking empathy and shared feelingis the poet's only true test."

"Deadlines The only deadline I plan on missing is the one at the cemetery."

"Do Me No Favors Haiku 'Do me no favors ~I can take care of myself.So, pay the check and drive me home."

"Now, I'm Not Born Yet [10w] I brought a sundial to a flight crossing the International-Date-Line."

"A Moment Before Impact [10w] The deer's eyes were moonstones, reflecting back my car's headlights."

"Democracy, Really [10w] A democracy is free to replace one tyranny with another."

"Pun vs. Puny [10w] + {Couplet} "His penis was a pun,judging by the predictable groans.The hours set by innuendos,the seconds by the moans."

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Area 51 [20w] If aliens were truly looking for intelligent life on earth,what the fuck were they thinking going to New Mexico?"

"Poet and the Fool {Couplet} {Limerick} The fool does his ego inflate,much like a poet does his oeuvre overrate.But the truth of the matter is that neither shit matters;harsh reality shall both nitwits deflate."

"Rules of Etiquette [10w] Rules of etiquette are pretend manners for the lower classes."

"Steer Clear [10w] Avoid alliances with anyone who's more to gain than you."