#self-esteem-self-help-book

"Avery If a boy named Avery marries a girl named Avery,will they name or just label their children?"

"Deadlines The only deadline I plan on missing is the one at the cemetery."

"Il Principe 2015: Lesson 2 ~ Shit If you're going to run for public office,you must first scrape the shit off your shoe,or the stink will follow you."

"In the Future [1]: (criminals) In the future we're going to find a wayto turn criminals into wordsand then place them in parentheses."

"Scientology [10w] There's nothing more oppressive than the ignorance of foolish belief."

"You Can't Win [10w] Every bitch is a witch;every wife brings you strife."

"Narcissist, Assholes and Immunization Narcissists and assholes are immunized by their egos and sense of entitlement against the criticisms, grievances and resentments of others."

"Vacations for Souls [10w] When souls are bored in Heaven they vacation in Hell."

"Home Never give up a home for a house;you may never find a home again."

"Natural Born Poets vs. Made Poets A natural born poet sees the future of poetry.A made poet clumsily imitates his vision."

"Soup [10w] Never marry anyone who eats their soup with a ladle."

"Perfect Sex [10w] Perfects sex balances the conflicting pleasures of submission and mastery."

"Charity [10w] Contentment over your life is the best aphrodisiac for charity."

"Wheaties: Breakfast of Champions... who'll endorse any product for a price."

"Elegance in Simplicity [10w] The more complex the problem,the simpler the correct answer."

"My Brooklyn Childhood [10w] "Motherfucker! I gotta put more goddamn change in the swear-jar."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."

"Illinois State Motto State sovereignty, national union.Life begins and ends with corruption."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Hate [10w] Love cannot hate eradicate ~only a more ruthless hate can."