#self-esteem-self-help-book

"Pushkin When Pushkin came to Shovekin all hell broke loose."

"The Rubik's Cube of Omár my Mán A Key of Coke underneath the Bough,A Jug of Jack, a Brick of Hash ~ Newsflash:'Now who the fuck needs Thou'."

"1953 It seems the world has gone downhill since the year Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Everest."

"Sunshine On My Shoulders When you're home's always filled with sunshine,you're either blessed or it's time to fix the roof."

"Democracy, Really [10w] A democracy is free to replace one tyranny with another."

"Ranger Smith, Unemployement and the Possibility of Unperceived Existence If a tree falls in the forest and we're not there,do we fire the park ranger without making a sound?"

"Proof Proof of God's existence is as silly as proof of love's."

"Knowledge vs. Wisdom [10w] + [10w] Knowledge is the understanding that you are what you eat. Wisdom is not eating a pussy with hair on it."

"Prevailing Wins [10w] Truth prevails in private, bullshit in public, integrity in spirit."

"Becoming [10w] We're a becoming whose final shape is unknown to all."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"McDonald's I love and rescue stray dogs, duct tape Burger King crowns to their heads and set them loose in McDonald's."

"That Jesus Kinda' Love [20w] What people do for the loveof their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,I wouldn't do for my fucking mother."

"Nevada Haiku 'Happens in Vegasstays in Vegas', long as youpay hos to shut up."

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"Sometimes it's Love and Sometimes the... [10w] ...tingling sensation of excitement, happiness, and nervousnessis jock itch."

"Pitter Patter I love to hear the pitter patter of little feet ~as they unsuccessfully struggle to break free of my choke hold."

"Love's War [10w] In love's war there aren't winners and losers ~just casualties."

"Who Isn't [10w] Psychotherapy's powerless once you assume you're smarter than the therapist."

"Persistence If persistence is the foundation of all success, how come persistent liars and nags aren't more successful?"