#self-esteem-self-help-book

"Knowledgeable [10w] The knowledgeable man inventoried and catalogued everything he doesn't know."

"Opportunity Knocks: China When opportunity knocksthe Chinese make knock-offs."

"Bonjour [10w] You're more obscure than first we met,"uttered with regret."

"Suicide Note [10w] "Don't ask why I committed suicide.Question why everybody doesn’t."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"You're Totally Fucked' Defined [10w] What's before you is hopeless and behind you is negligible."

"Coins [10w] Statesmen whose faces are on coins are amenable to change."

"Don’t Let the Dead Fish Fool You [10w] Even the eyes of a dead fish can reflect light."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"Sex Kitchens of the Future [10w] Her entire kitchen was made of silicone ~ including her breasts."

"Over-Douse [10w] Trying to mask death's smell,old ladies over-douse on perfume."

"Mended [10w] {Couplet} If the recently mended heart,breaks again, it shall not start."

"Err "To err is human ~ more wine!"

"Closets Opening and Closing [10w] + [10w] You can take sweet gay men out of the closet;you can't take the closet out of the master-bedroom suite."

"FBI vs. CIA When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,he gets a watch.When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,he gets watched.I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~I know this because I have HBO."

"Retail Haiku [7w] LollapaloozaLiquidation Blowout Sale.Everything Must Go!"

"Rice-a-Roni: The San Francisco treat... ...the other treat, of course, being anal penetration."

"Hate Recycle Bin When you empty your hate recycle binit frees up more memory to write even better poetry.Just try it and tell me this isn't true!"

"Death Ride Denied At the stables of your agonyDeath brought his morbid mareTo whisk you from your woeful wantsAnd coax you from your cares.A ride you did deny this princeAnd bid him soft farewell,Hoping the morrow must be brighter sinceYour yesterdays were hell."

"Choice vs. Disease [10w] People who label lack of control a disease evade responsibility."