#self-esteem-self-help-book

"Breathe inhale.exhalerepeatThat should solve 90% of your problems.For the other 10% ask your local Rabbi."

"Money Can't Buy Everything [10w] Money can't buy everything ~ but love is certainly no exception."

"Washington State Motto Al-Ki. [25]America's most rainy, PC and annoying state."

"Time is Not a Constant [10w] Time speeds up, crawls, compresses and expands depending on mood."

"Humans vs. Monkeys [10w] + [10w] Baby monkeys are much more clever than a human babies.Human babies leap ahead because of their capacity for language."

"Money vs. Happiness [10w] Why do people with money say,'money can't buy happiness'?"

"Disability [10w] Unconditional love can turn a child's disability into an advantage."

"Opportunities Come a Knockin' [10w] Never miss the opportunity to fuck or write poetry."

"Love vs. the Three Headed Dragon In relationships, the corrosive venom of the three-headed dragon areindifference, fault-finding and 'take-each-other-for-grantedness'.Only these cantarnish the shining armor of amour."

"Revenge [10w] Revenge is a long game;all you need is time."

"Silly String [10w] Life' an absurdity radiating from a spine of silly string."

"La Récolteuse de la Mort Je suis la Récolteuse de la Mort et ~vous êtes ce que je viens pour les!"

"Barnum & Bailey Circus: The Greatest Show on Earth... ...when you can't afford Cirque du Soleil."

"Overheard at McDonalds "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.Are you going to finish those fries?"

"Rhode Island State Motto Hope.Not much here but at least we have Family Guy."

"The Pompous Psychopomp Its your charge to provide me safe passage to the afterlife,to be a midwife to my dying.Any yet, you hover there, judging me,putting on airs, you supercilious whip-poor-will.You're an embarrassment to nightjars everywhere.Now do your fucking job and take me to hell ~which I guess has already begun,judging by your shitty escort service."

"Romantic Ring Ceremony Define this wedding ring,with which I betroth thee unto me forever,not by the confining boundaries of it's goldbut by the empty circle within -that perfect portal to your loving heartyou have opened for me, and me alone -as I have opened mine for you."

"Patience [10w] Patience is the most technologically advanced form of energy efficiency."

"Ode to a Wastepaper Basket I love the way you sit in the corner,gracious like a lover,catching my every crumpled vanity."

"Journalist asks me whether I can sit down for an interview... Sorry, I can't talk now. I'm busy writing up a storm.How about tomorrow?Sorry, tomorrow I'm bust conjuring up a tornado."