#self-esteem-self-help-book

"Promising vs. Promises A promising life comes from a childhood without broken promises."

"Depth of Love [10w] The longer the time between relationships,the deeper your love."

"Pond(er) This [10w] Nobody wants to be:'Big fish in a little pond."

"Hermit Crab Should a hermit crab be required to have a real estate license?"

"What is God? (60) [10w] God's always the correct answer once you rephrase the question."

"Measuring Love The only scientist who can measure love is the onewho's in love with another scientist."

"Vengeance, Thy Name is Woman Betrayed women aren't exactly vengeful,but they aren't exactly anything else."

"Money Can't Buy Everything [10w] Money can't buy everything ~ but love is certainly no exception."

"Good vs. Great [10w] To be good twice is a true mark of greatness."

"Pacifism There's nothing like seeing action in war to turn a soldier into an instant pacifist or an instant killer."

"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."

"Oy Vey Haiku (g)Nat's sphincter clenched.The skinhead asked, 'You a Jew?Minyan's one man short."

"Dating Asian Her Kung Fu style was not too bad,but at doggie style she had me had."

"Advice for Women at Starbucks If a vanilla latte and banana nut muffin doesn't solve the problem,perhaps you're going at it wrong."

"Rotaryrotatory In a universe composed wholly of revolving doors we'll have no need for gatekeepers or tipping doormen at Christmas."

"Hypocrisy [10w] Religion without hypocrisy doesn't exist;that's man's imperfection, not God's."

"Busch Beer: Head for the mountains... [10w] ...and fall off the precipice shitfaced."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"Obscenity [10w] Obscenity's undefinable becauseeverything that occurs in nature is natural."