#self-improvement-book

"God vs. Satan [10w] Why can't God and Satan get along?They're both detail-oriented."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"The Downside of Stuff {Couplet) I got what I want;I have what I need.But they want what I have,and they'll make me bleed."

"Discrete vs. Discreet Moonlight falls upon my feet,beyond the sun's overwrought conceit.I'm painted pristine white, without the heat;reflection's cool reflection~ how discreet!"

"Travel [10w] The difference between a traveler and vacationer is one arrives."

"Nomad {Couplet} When your roots grow from the outside in,home becomes whatever place you're in."

"Life is like a game of chess.To win you have to make a move.Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHTand knowledge, and by learning the lessons that areacculated along the way.We become each and every piece within the game called life!"

"The Bonds That Tie Weak bonding is sharing a common interest;strong bonding is sharing a common enemy."

"Galoshes Haiku Cherry blossoms bloomin the morning mist.Thank God I took my galoshes."

"Cleverness vs. Crime [10w] Being caught's the only difference between cleverness and crime."

"Styx Haiku Boatman refusesto paddle me down the Styx.'No carry-on baggage."

"♥ Love ♡ My heart skips a beat every time you walk through the door!It isn't love ~ I have an arrhythmia."

"Home Never give up a home for a house;you may never find a home again."

"Rebellious Fish [10w] Sometimes swimming against the current turns you into glazed salmon."

"Selfies [10w] Selfies allows you instant gratification and reminiscence all at once."

"Say No to Drugs Commercials The image of an egg sizzling in a frying pan is not your brain on drugs.It's just a fucking omelet."

"Marriage Material For women seeking a marriage partner,a man's sense of humor trumps good looks.Unfortunately for the funnymen out there,security trumps laughter."

"Hustling [10w] Fishing's the world's oldest profession;only the bait has changed."

"Death is Opening Night Everything's that happened yesterday is a rehearsal for everything that will happen..."

"Babel [10w] Building a tower to reach God doesn't require any bricks."