#sleeping

"I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness."

"I had a dream about you last night.. You were playing with chicken livers and told me everyone was in quarantine."

"I love sleepwalking, because when else would I get to combine exercise and rest?"

"I’m so restless when I rest that I make sleepwalkers look like statues. If The Thinker could run 26.2 miles, it would need a baseball glove to catch me."

"I had a dream about you. You suggested to split the profits, so I did. I threw one half in the furnace to power the steam engine, and the other half in the air to distract our pursuers."

"I slept through the award presentation for Napper of the Year. They had to wake me when I won. Winning was like a dream come true."

"Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day."

"I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway."

"I had a dream about you last night. The best day of my life was when I taught you how to juggle, but the best day of yours was when you taught someone else."

"If you need me I’ll be napping in the supplies closet. The most important part of an attack is the planning."

"I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline."

"I had a dream about you last night... You turned red, then green, and then blue. You told me you were trying to fit in with the m&m's."

"I had a dream about you last night.. You were in the amazon rain forest yipping like a dog."

"I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the other. I couldn’t decide which one to use, so I stood on the stool and threw myself on the sword. It was the least I could do to protest capital punishment."

"There’s sleep to be found here, and I’m going to find it—with my eyes closed. I’m like Sherlock Holmes meets Helen Keller. #Networking"

"I had a dream about you last night. We were plug sockets in the bedroom. We saw only a short part of their day, but we knew everything of it."

"I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me."

"I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing, I ended up waking it up."

"Nobody sleeps at the Inn of Innovation. You don't wake up, but you do #startup."

"I had a dream about you last night... Well I say dream I mean nightmare... you were a Yankee fan."