#sleeping

"Every night I sleep like a log. In a lit fireplace. If you bring the marshmallows, I’ll bring the burning desire for you."

"I had a dream about you. You were lost in a daydream, when I walked in and you began screaming. But I know that could never actually happen. In real life I only enter people’s nightmares."

"When I found him lying in the ditch holding a shovel, I thought he was sleeping on the job. Turns out he was being even lazier, and he was in fact dead."

"A few nights later, I secretly hope that I might be a genius. Why else can no amount of sleeping pills fell my brain? But in the morning my daughter asks me what a cloud is and I cannot say."

"I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view. Then World War III fulfilled both our desires."

"I had a dream about you last night.. You kept screaming at Ted Danson to pour you a drink."

"A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, and you’ll wake the whole trailer park."

"I had a dream about you last night. We stopped telling each other about our dreams when we realized we were still inside them."

"I match my pajamas to my comforter so I can disappear into sleep. I’m camouflaged into noonexistence, where I don’t wake up until 12:00 PM."

"I had a dream about you last night.. You were in the amazon rain forest yipping like a dog."

"I had a dream about you last night. The best day of my life was when I taught you how to juggle, but the best day of yours was when you taught someone else."

"When people ask me how I slept, I tell them I don’t know—I’ll have to ask The Professor, and read his notes on my performance."

"I love sleepwalking, because when else would I get to combine exercise and rest?"

"I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me."

"I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren’t so different after all."

"I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. And I didn’t even try! I simply waited. I’ll bet I could even do it in my sleep."

"I went for a walk this morning because the evening was still asleep. Well technically so was I, but that didn’t stop me from exercising."

"I had a dream about you last night. I could fly. I was going to use this power to impress you, but you were too heavy to carry, so I won you over with my personality instead"

"I had a dream about you. You suggested to split the profits, so I did. I threw one half in the furnace to power the steam engine, and the other half in the air to distract our pursuers."

"I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed."