#teachings

"Excuse The bureaucrat's excuse, 'If I have to make an exception for you,I have to make an exception for everybody else',doesn't apply to me because I exceptional."

"Pedestals [10w] People should not be placed on pedestals unless they're stuffed."

"Straight Men vs. Curved Women [10w] 'Straight' men who approach 'curved' women must'mind the gap'."

"Hug [10w] To embrace what you truly love,give it a hug."

"The Tigger Journals [10w] "Honestly, I'd rather be alone than with that unbearable Winnie-the-Pooh."

"Thorn [5w] Every thorn has its rose."

"Let's get physical, physical [10w] All physical contact is meaningful,even if meaningful means sleazy."

"Crying in the Rain If you cry in the raindoes anybody but you know you're unhappy?"

"The Unspoken Speaks Volumes Stillness brackets the exchanges between lovers. Itis not the lack of sound, but an encapsulated silenceof resonance. Resonant silences stand like bookends, embracing their thoughts;though formal pleasantries vibrate the air,they are more ritual than communication.The couples true intents are articulated in the unspoken.Two bodies.One soul."

"Tofino, Canada Haiku Free flowing clothes,Strumming guitar on the beach.Still my baggage follows me."

"My Brooklyn Childhood [10w] "Motherfucker! I gotta put more goddamn change in the swear-jar."

"Knowledgeable [10w] The knowledgeable man inventoried and catalogued everything he doesn't know."

"Lotto If I won a million bucks in Lotto,I'd give it to Charity.Charity gives great head."

"The Moon The moon's a pearl among the starry gems,more cultured than the rest of them.A blemished diadem of charcoaled nightthat chaperons the sun back to the light."

"Today I Learned: Delete Today I learnedwhen you delete stuff on your computerit still resides on your hard drive.It's sort of like getting divorcedbut that bitch still lives in your house."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Mongolian, Temeenii'malgai The small fuzzy hat worn by camels that cross the Gobi desert. Usually stolen by natives of Ulaanbaatar for the groom's hat at weddings. The fuzz on the hat smells so bad that the groom is temporarily blinded and can't see how ugly the bride looks until it's too late."

"Cutthroat Competition [10w] If competition becomes cutthroatit suggests business has become piracy."

"Birds [10w] When a bird wakens, flight is no longer a dream."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."