Beryl Dov

"Wretched [10w] Intelligence without compassion is an invitation to a wretched life."

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."

"Taco Bell [10w] Taco Bell: Living proof you can shit where you eat."

"How to Exercise Caution [10w] Walk in the counsel of the wickedon your treadmill."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"What's in it for me?' A selfish person doesn't become compassionate as the result of some words of wisdom or epiphany. The selfish need selfish reasons to act unselfish."

"Children and Food [10w] Once children order like grown-upsfood's lost its sweet innocence."

"Soulmate My Ass [10w] Aspire to marry the person the least wrong for you."

"Galoshes Haiku Cherry blossoms bloomin the morning mist.Thank God I took my galoshes."

"Say No to Drugs Commercials The image of an egg sizzling in a frying pan is not your brain on drugs.It's just a fucking omelet."

"Don't Quit ❣ Don't quit on love and it won't bail on you."

"Omnipresence Under The Christmas Tree "I wish I was a schizophrenic with déjà vu so I could've been everywhere simultaneously."

"Using the Backdoor If we compare writing computer code to sex,then hacking would be anal sex."

"Miracle [10w] The greatest unacknowledged miracle is man has lasted this long."

"Grandma's Advice on Ambition "Children, if you aim for the stars you'll be impaled by small meteorites and become toast."

"The Stink of Hate {Couplet} When haters write they raise a stink;must be the venom coursing through their ink."

"Excuse The bureaucrat's excuse, 'If I have to make an exception for you,I have to make an exception for everybody else',doesn't apply to me because I exceptional."

"Virtual Reality [10w] Bliss is a virtual-reality headset coupled with a virtual-reality hooker software."

"BFF, My Ass ~ It's a Jungle Out There! About one-third of all marriages are procured by sabotaging your best friend's happiness."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."