Beryl Dov

"ESL New immigrantswho've taken ESL (English as a Second Language),will always misunderstand sarcasm ~but those fuckers sure as shit enjoy the prices at Walmart."

"Grandma's Advice on Ambition "Children, if you aim for the stars you'll be impaled by small meteorites and become toast."

"Diana Sporting a Remington Sendero SF II {Couplet} Over one shoulder hung a rifle, over the other swung a brace of pheasants;She was a no-nonsense breed of sniper, a viper with no time for fangs of conscience."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"Irish-Gaelic Wife-Fooking Proverb The truth can't be concealedI fooked your Caitlin from behind,because you can never plow a field by just turning it over in your mind.By the way, Caitlin's last words, before sucking me cock, were"Me husband's balls smells like ballyblue cheese, ahhhhhh, Éirinn go Brách!"

"The Tragedy of Forgetfulness When you stop loving someone,in order to heal your memory of them begins to fade.Unfortunately, the good ones fade with the bad and suddenlyyears of your life have disappeared."

"Mind Maneuvers When we hear something unflattering,our mind doesn't fully process it.When we hear a compliment,the mind goes into overdriveand tend to read too much into it."

"Tennessee State Motto Agriculture and Commerce.Where the KKK was bornand the most popular pick up line is, 'Nice tooth!"

"Love vs. Control [10w] A lover you can control is not worthy of having."

"Small Degrees Lobster don't fathom they're being cooked,like relationships being snuffed out in small degreesbut in reverse, as love begins to freeze over, trapping you in a impenetrable ceiling of ice until you drown."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."

"Heaven [10w] Heaven’s not a destination ~it’s a way of processing life."

"Oy Vey Haiku (g)Nat's sphincter clenched.The skinhead asked, 'You a Jew?Minyan's one man short."

"One Size Fits All Life Strategy Smile first.Ask questions later."

"Hate Recycle Bin When you empty your hate recycle binit frees up more memory to write even better poetry.Just try it and tell me this isn't true!"

"Kill Buddha's Hairdresser [10w] I'd like to meet Buddha's hairdresser and shoot the prick."

"❞ [10w] "Let's cuddle like a quotation mark filling a blank page."

"Till Death Do You Part [10w] Marriage will indeed change people ~for better or for worse."

"Self-Sufficiency [10w] When God closes a door,buy a Sawzall from Home Depot."