"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."
"Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving a gift which you did not have to pay for."
"If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a one-time heist. This theft will take every minute of the rest of your life."
"I was so depressed I thought about committing TV. I mean suicide. In the end I decided to binge on @Netflix and it really made me feel better."
"I keep water in my pockets, as portable fish tanks. My love letters often get soggy with sentimentality."
"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."