"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."
"Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises."
"A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires."
"I have rubbed shoulders with the rich, the powerful, and the armless. It’s how to network when handshakes aren’t an option."
"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."
"Selling something only to steal it back to sell again is not only dishonest, but highly profitable."