#master-key

"BMW: The ultimate driving machine... ...just like our gas chambers were the ultimate killing machines."

"Don't Mess with the Queen {Couplet} The first man harnessing the secrets of fireCannot compare with the revelation of your sovereign ire."

"Preachiness vs. Prose vs. Poetry A poem that says what it means is prose;if it means what it says it's a sermon.Leave the homiletics for the priestsprose for the journalistsand soulful resonancefor the poets."

"Il Principe 2015: Lesson 2 ~ Shit If you're going to run for public office,you must first scrape the shit off your shoe,or the stink will follow you."

"Please Don't Commemorate Me Just Yet [10w] The living are only commemorated when they're at death's door."

"Wrong Number [10w] There is no such thing as dialing a wrong number."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Note to Self: Patent #10w Diving Mask for fish filled with water when oceans disappear."

"Great Poets [10w] Great poets can milk blood and tears from a stone."

"The Poet as Enchantress [10w] + {Couplet} The poet is an enchantress,with or without a dress."

"Jew in a Canoe Haiku Jew in a canoe,whitewater rushes, the canoe tips.The Jew doesn't."

"Occam's Razor [10w] I shaved with Occam's razor and he shaved with mine."

"Two Dust Storms or A Nice Pair of Haboobs A palm tree passes through a sandstorm, shakingoff the dusty rain like a wet dogon the less fortunate wayfarersburied in the sand."

"Embittered [10w] "His heart blistered like paint peeling from an old rig."

"Myself [10w] "I don't really know myself;he's only a tenuous acquaintance."

"Movies [10w] Movies were invented to sellbuttery snacks and sugary drinks"

"Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you."

"Library [10w] Hopefully, the library in the afterlife doesn't contain contemporary poetry."

"Evil [10w] Believing you're evil sets into motion the wheels of self-destruction."

"Poets Job Description [10w] Poets console the soul with words and eyes with images."