#master-key

"No That's Bad Aim Shoot!That ass clown couldn't hit the broad side of a barnwith the smart photon torpedohe lifted from Area 51."

"Fulfillment [10w] Sometime fulfillment goes beyond the date Amazon delivers your order."

"Lenny Bruce I'm going to be rich!I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede."

"Deadlines The only deadline I plan on missing is the one at the cemetery."

"Sink or Swim [10w] Lovers master the breaststroke, the crawl and the muff dive."

"Pushkin When Pushkin came to Shovekin all hell broke loose."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"Summer NYC ☜ʇɥƃᴉlɟ☞'ɥsɐp ɐ 'ɥsɐlds ∀˙ɥʇɐq ʍollɐɥs ɐ ʇɐ sʍoɹɹɐds ǝʞᴉlsɹǝlʞuᴉɹds ʇɐ uǝɹplᴉɥƆ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Children at sprinklerslike sparrows at a shallow bath.A splash, a dash, ☜flight☞"

"Creation "I shake my fist and there's bang.Stars sift like sand through my fingers;each swirl of my wrist a galaxy,every kiss imbued with a bit of me."

"Beating the Language Like a Tom-Tom with a Mohawk "Actually, you will receive a free pre-owned gift with every purchase,irregardless of the awesome enormity of your stupidity."

"Babel [10w] Building a tower to reach God doesn't require any bricks."

"Soulmate [10w] When you meet your soulmate,God's walked into the room."

"Chase vs. Choose Happiness If you chase after happiness, it may escape you.If you choose happiness, it may take your house away.Both chasing and choosing have their hazards ~but they're less risky than waiting for happiness to find you.Remember, happiness is a lazy ass motherfuckerthat doesn't go on search and rescue missions."

"Spirochetes [10w] + {Couplet} Even amongst the spirochetes,there are the privileged and elites."

"Frank Lloyd Wright {Couplet} Frank Lloyd Wright eliminated the confining wall,so now when your wife screams at youit sounds like you're in Tammany Hall."

"Advice for Women at Starbucks If a vanilla latte and banana nut muffin doesn't solve the problem,perhaps you're going at it wrong."

"Predestination [10w] 'Twas predestined that I'd call predestination a crock of shit."

"No Planning for Death [10w] People put more planning into a weekend vacation than death."

"Pretending to be Deep ;) [10w] Only from the mountain's valley can you see the peak."

"Knowledge vs. Wisdom [10w] + [10w] Knowledge is the understanding that you are what you eat. Wisdom is not eating a pussy with hair on it."