#Master

"There's More Than Two Choices [10w] Don't take the road less traveled;blaze your own path."

"Hidden [10w] God hides enough happiness in sadness to light the world."

"Happiness [10w] Happiness resides in the quiet pause,not in the pursuit."

"Enemies [10w] I prefer my enemies death than apologeticfor closure's sake"

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Damn You, TripAdvisor! My penis deserves to be a World Heritage Site,judging by the number of tourists trampling on my balls."

"Wheaties: Breakfast of Champions... who'll endorse any product for a price."

"The Written Word The only thing I hold dearer than myself(and my moms, yo') ~is the written word.I'd give my life for that bitch, (yo'.)"

"Finally, I Know Who I Am You are what you eat.~ Ludwig Andreas FeuerbachWe become what we think about.~ Earl NightingaleI'm a Horny Pizza!"

"The Great Blue of the Great Blue A Great Blue whale mourns her hunted mate.Her heart, once the size of an SUV,lonely rides the empty sea,her heart's now withered to subcompact class,her whys and wherefores, run out of gas."

"Remorse among Thieves When a caught thief shows remorse he says to himself,"I knew I should pull off that heist differently."

"Moment of Truth 'Moment of truth' is derived fromthe Spanish momento de la verdad, that Hemingway epiphanous moment when the matador is about to kill the bull. Now it means the moment you realize you won't make it back to the parking meter before it expires ~sometimes expressed as, Motherfucker!"

"Bonjour [10w] You're more obscure than first we met,"uttered with regret."

"Trance & Instinct The best poems come from trance and instinct;transcribing the unedited voice of universal consciousness."

"Keep Austin Weird Haiku Neck dragon tattoo, piercings, purple haired kindergarten teacher.Keep Austin weird."

"Missouri State Motto Salus populi suprema lex esto [16]If our chiggers don't getcha', Rush Limbaugh will."

"Love vs. Mental Illness [10w] Love, like mental illness, comes on graduallyand then suddenly."

"California Haiku "After my boob jobI'm taking acting lessons.Fuck's fifty, no anal."

"The Cure [10w] Laughter, love and faith can cure 95% of all illnesses."

"The Poet's Mind In so many ways I walk ablaze in a maze,my eyes in a glaze, my mind in a daze,this poem's just a phrase in the latency phase,rephrase, rephrase, rephrase..."