#Master

"I'm Not Talking About Fruitcake [10w] The greatest gifts are the ones that can be regifted."

"The Pompous Psychopomp Its your charge to provide me safe passage to the afterlife,to be a midwife to my dying.Any yet, you hover there, judging me,putting on airs, you supercilious whip-poor-will.You're an embarrassment to nightjars everywhere.Now do your fucking job and take me to hell ~which I guess has already begun,judging by your shitty escort service."

"Washington State Motto Al-Ki. [25]America's most rainy, PC and annoying state."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"Vacations for Souls [10w] When souls are bored in Heaven they vacation in Hell."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Gradually Then Instantly [10w] We fall in love the way we lose our minds."

"That Jesus Kinda' Love [20w] What people do for the loveof their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,I wouldn't do for my fucking mother."

"Is Prayer Only for Man? I [10w] Does God pray for His creation's in Heaven and Earth?"

"Underage-Killers [10w] Underage-killers like making a whooshing sound when they shoot people."

"Pamela Anderson Haiku Ben Stillerbeds Pamela Anderson.My alarm clock rings"

"Seafood My body's just a shell,the world is my oyster ~and I'm getting a whale of appetiteright now for some delicious seafood ."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Accurs'd McDonalds, I Bite my Thumb at Thee! {Couplet} Let vex'd heavens rant and rage,This here McNigga slave ain't workin' for no McMinimum wage."

"Where's Ralph Waldo Emerson When you Need Him? A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds;as opposed to bigger hobgoblins with bigger dicks, doing all sorts of ghoulish shit behind the Venetian blinds."

"Maintaining the Distance between Wealth and Poverty [10w] The nouveau riche are far more ruthlessthan the rich."

"Depth of Love [10w] The longer the time between relationships,the deeper your love."

"Q & A The illness of our time is not that we lack for answers;man's tragedy is that we've forgotten the important questions."

"Selfie [10w] For the millennial generationa selfie is a family portrait."

"Journalist asks me whether I can sit down for an interview... Sorry, I can't talk now. I'm busy writing up a storm.How about tomorrow?Sorry, tomorrow I'm bust conjuring up a tornado."