#Master

"An Enirely Different Matter [10W] Four states of matter:solid, liquid, gasand ffuzzy-wuzzy."

"The Squeaky Wheel The squeaky wheel ~will put you $374.43 in the holeafter replacing the brake pad, rotorsand $500 with a new master cylinder."

"Six-Pack [10w] A six-pack of beer's inversely proportional to six-pack of abs."

"Virtual Friends [10w] Internet camaraderie's bullshit because these 'friends' can't be relied upon."

"Is Prayer Only for the Living? III [10w] Do angels pray to God to intercede on mankind's behalf?"

"Vengeance, Thy Name is Woman Betrayed women aren't exactly vengeful,but they aren't exactly anything else."

"Control [10w] Don't lose control by imagining you can control your lover."

"Being insecure - I'm a master, a virtuoso - they can be handing me the keys to the kingdom and all I can think is, I hope I don't drop the key."

"Enigmatic Real Estate I choose to live on the edge of mysterywith its inscrutable view of complexityhedged by perplexity.Also, there's a Walmart nearby."

"Rationality vs. Madness [10w] Rationality maintains the world's status quo.Madness drives the change."

"Publisher's Persuasion "You're much too good a writer to want a six figure advance. You don't want your readers to think you're only writing for money ~ do you?"

"Hidden [10w] A woman is an iceberg;we see less than 10%."

"Avery If a boy named Avery marries a girl named Avery,will they name or just label their children?"

"The Wonder of Wandering [10w] When you wander without destination,the world becomes your teacher."

"Consolation [10w] Man finds consolation in love, laughter and Ben & Jerry's."

"Lady Gaga Haiku A cow has a big head, deep voice, a long tongue, butLady Gaga he's not."

"What is Hate? [10w] Hate is merely love hiding behind the mask of envy."

"The Road to Hell The road to hell is paved with 16 in. x 16 in. Red Brickface Concrete Step Stones.Only $2.97 each.Always in Stock atThe Home Depot."

"Witticisms The greatest reward for coming up with some witty turn of phraseis that some day, if you're lucky,it may wind up in a fortune cookieat the very Chinese restaurant you're eating in!But if you get a big head about it,know it wasn't the flattery,it was the MSG."

"Athens, Texas Haiku Blackeyed Pea Capital of the World.Yup, just another shithole."