#relationships

"Wanting him to come back before anyone notices part of the world has not moved since he left."

"Why are desire scales 1-10? They should be 1-12, like a clock, because I want her 1-12, I mean like all the time."

"Telekinetic Poker Players Telekinetic poker players have a tell when they're bluffing:they always raise you."

"Six hundred and forty fish later, the only thing I know is everything you love will die. The first time you meet someone special, you can count on them one day being dead and in the ground."

"Cormorant’s Flight [10w] The cormorant’s flight is the first shadow of the wave."

"Iowa Haiku "We're not really dull,we are just misunderstood.Weed helps dull the pain."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home."

"Sometimes the most beautiful people are beautifully broken."

"Fabulous Creatures and Trust Issues [10w] Never trust a sheep in wolf’s clothing despite the unicorn."

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."

"Truth is, something that I thought was perfect was taken away from me, and I never wanted perfect again. I wanted middle of the road, stuff I didn’t care about so that I couldn’t lose anything I really loved ever again."

"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."

"Rat Trap Haiku 'Hmm, 12 by 13,4 by 9. Oy! You call thisrat trap an apartment?"

"You want to take me to a movie?"I asked. "Well, not really,"he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off."

"Uh-uh, dude. I tried it your way with the dating and the girls and the kissing and the drama, and man, I didn't like it. Plus, my best friend is a walking cautionary tale of what happens to you when romantic relationships don't involve marriage. Like you always say, kafir, everything ends in breakup, divorce, or death. I want to narrow my misery options to divorce or death - that's all."

"Your comfort zone is a place where you keep yourself in a self-illusion and nothing can grow there but your potentiality can grow only when you can think and grow out of that zone."

"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."

"Leaping lemmings! Leaping lemmings!I so adore ya'Can't get enoughJust want more’o'ya'!When I've had my fill'o'ya',I long for anotherRefill'o'ya.So, let's cut my spiel And here's the deal:I'm just gonna' haveta' cloneya'!So, when we're doneJust having fun --I'm just gonna' haveta' boneya'Again."

"My Brooklyn Childhood [10w] "Motherfucker! I gotta put more goddamn change in the swear-jar."