#relationships

"Pizza vs. Internet Porn I'm still debating whether pizza or internet porn is the best thing ever invented.I've already jack-off three times while eating a double-cheese pepperoni piemaking my careful deliberations."

"She said she loved me, and I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe 59 seconds, but not a whole minute. I may be gullible, but I’m not without an accurate way to measure time."

"What is the shape of love? Is it shaped like you? For me it is, but for you maybe it is shaped like me."

"It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being."

"Flowers are aromatic and romantic, and they grow exactly the way love does—with plenty of light, and watered with affection."

"From someone who doesn't want to share your destiny, you should neither accept a cigarette"

"I wanted to have a good relationship. One that's romantic and dramatic, like in the movies. But I finally became a woman at 17 and learned that men aren't really that simple."

"People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are ... I just don't want that responsibility."

"Facebook's New Marketing Slogan "We can only be lonesome together.900,000,000 served."

"Love is a bronze statue sinking in quicksand. But if I hand you a lasso, will you try to save the statue—or use the lasso to hang yourself? If you need me, I’ll be here to kick the chair out from under your feet."

"It's better to have a few faithful friends than numerous shallow friendships."

"Witchcraft vs. Wordcraft [10w] Covens of witches convened at their annual unconventional Coven’s Convention."

"I lost interest in her because she said the wrong thing. She said nothing."

"Words of Wisdom [10w] Words of wisdom worth saying wouldfit on a T-shirt.@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@:::::@­:::::"

"She’s twelve hours in the future, and exactly half a world away. No matter how hard I try, I will always be a part of her past."

"Love's a Sacred Vessel [10w] Love's the sacred vessel embracing the mystical energy of evolution."

"I love coffee cake, but I would prefer if it were just a little more drinkable. I almost choked while chugging some this morning, and if it weren’t for the fluid nature of clownfish, I might have caught feelings for Hillary using a basketball net."

"Disagreement is not necessarily a reason to head for Splitsville. In fact, a relationship without disagreement is probably too brittle to last. Some of the best human bonds are forged in the fire of disagreement."

"I want a 100% kind of relationship, and I’m willing to give it 50%."

"A Plan B life can be just as good or better than a Plan A life. You just have to let go of that first dream and realize that God has already written the first chapter of the new life that awaits you. All you have to do is start reading!"